I have been having these strange recurring dreams. It is not in the same place but it's the same theme. A war between Light and Dark or Good and Evil. There are almost areas of the world that are good and areas that are bad. It is usually an area that has a door that can be locked to hold in the good or out the evil. There is always children it is almost like the war is being fought by children with a few adults to help. The main character is always a teenager or young adult trying to either figure out what is wrong with the world or trying defeat evil. It starts of with the girl feeling that there is something off and begins to investigate such as there are some areas that feel different like bad or dark and some that are good or light. She then realizes that this darkness effects certain people as well. There are areas that can be closed off to just good. This started the awakening of the other good people to what is going on and the bad trying to get in to infect the good. The war is always fought by children and dark is usually a set of a few adults. The dreams always ends just before the final battle with the main character saying or crying to someone that they don't think the kids can handle a battle they have never had to go through all of this.
I guess you could say that i am writing about this because is started when I was in PC and come so in my site. It makes me wonder what is going on in site that is causing me to have a war in my subconscious. What is making feel so separated? I find it strange that it is so geared to children. Is there an issue with my teaching and the kids? I don't feel like I am resenting the children or that I am struggling with the classes. Sure there are times that I have a bad day but we all have those days. Is site really bothering me this much that I am have a war with myself because of it? I know that i don't find it as a home yet but i don't think that i thought it was really horrible just not like home. There are so many questions and no answers. Maybe moving out and starting over with a new family will help. Or maybe it is all just a coincidence and that the dreams are just dreams my imagination. I just find it weird that the same theme is recurring every week.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
A stressful week
Good evening everyone. This past week was rather interesting and a bit stressful. I have to move host families for reasons that will not be disclosed here. I have been taking this week to look at my options with the help of my lovely counterpart. I have about three options. I have only got to look at one of them but hopefully i will see the others soon. Here is what i can grasp from the descriptions of the homes that my counterpart has given me:
1. Is one of the teachers in the school. She lives alone and has a house complex connected to her own house in which i would be living. I would be making my own meals. Other than that i don't have much to report since i have no visited the house.
2. Is one of my friends in town. I get along well with here family and feel at home when i visit the house. I have not had the chance to talk in detail about moving into the house and I can only hope that they have room for me.
3. Is a house connected to a pulparia (small story) I would be moving in to her daughters room where the daughter would go i don't know. They have a nice house that is sectioned off into three parts. Two kitchens one with a wood fire and on with a small gas burners. I did not get to see the room since the door was locked. They have a big backyard and have about 8 people in their family. The only concern that i have is that one of the men of the house is a boracho (drunk) he only comes at night and not often. I would be able to keep my door locked but i don't know if i want to live like that for two year. I would also be cooking most if not all of my own food.
4. there is one more but we have not even talked to the family about it. It is a big house that is owned by a woman and her two children. I had one of her kids in my manualidades (arts and crafts) class. But i don't really know anything about the family.
Now for my own criteria for a house. I would want to live with a family that i feel comfortable with and that i can have a nice conversation with. That is one thing that I feel is lacking with my current family. I feel like really don't have to much n common. I obviously want a safe house and I want to be able to cook my own breakfast and dinner lunch is optional. I can find that Nica's don't always know how to feed a vegetarian. I think it would be better all around if i cooked. It would ensure that I got more then rice and beans to eat. Not my favorite dish. I would like a running shower but that is not a must. My room has to have ventilation to it. That is one thing about my room now is how stuffy and hot it can get during the day. They must accept Miles my cat. Other than that I and willing to explore my options.
Well I have started to teach more classes and i was told on a scale of 1-10 i teach at a 5. Which i think i pretty good from someone with very little teaching experience. It was on a topic that I wasn't quite sure how to teach the functioning of the different parts of the eyes and ears. Mind you it was not the structure but the function. I have taught other science and math courses that went relatively well. I do have to say that I am having a bit of fun but it is not my calling.
I finally got to right my bike to the school 6k away and the first day it broke. The bike store didn't tighten the screws on the peddles and gears. I ended up walking it half the way. I would prefer to walk to ride the bike but it is faster and the thing wasn't cheep. They got it fixed up at the school so I didn't have to walk it home too. LOL There is so much loose dusty roads almost like sand that makes it hard to peddle at times but not imposable as well as rocks I swear my rear end i raw from the bouncing. I am definitely gaining leg muscles.
Now comes the random happening paragraph. I am happy to say that I am not healthy with no stomach pains or gripe (colds) I just hope I didn't jinks myself. I might have also been proven wrong, the road blockers have not started again to my knowledge. I will give it another week but everything seems calm right now. It is sweltering here an average of 95 for the whole weeks and sometimes not electricity which means no fan! Miles has taken to seeing more of the day under my bed I think it's about a few degrees cooler there. I am realizing that my Spanish is defiantly improving. I can form sentences using the past and having them come out somewhat right. I also find my fluency is better and I can read a book aloud without sounding out every other word. I still find it hard at times to understand others but I seem to be getting the main idea of the topics. I feel like I'm begining to fit in a little bit now that I have some closer friends, I can't wait to get to know them better.
Don't think there is much more I have to see and I bit you all a fond farewell until next time. XOXO
1. Is one of the teachers in the school. She lives alone and has a house complex connected to her own house in which i would be living. I would be making my own meals. Other than that i don't have much to report since i have no visited the house.
2. Is one of my friends in town. I get along well with here family and feel at home when i visit the house. I have not had the chance to talk in detail about moving into the house and I can only hope that they have room for me.
3. Is a house connected to a pulparia (small story) I would be moving in to her daughters room where the daughter would go i don't know. They have a nice house that is sectioned off into three parts. Two kitchens one with a wood fire and on with a small gas burners. I did not get to see the room since the door was locked. They have a big backyard and have about 8 people in their family. The only concern that i have is that one of the men of the house is a boracho (drunk) he only comes at night and not often. I would be able to keep my door locked but i don't know if i want to live like that for two year. I would also be cooking most if not all of my own food.
4. there is one more but we have not even talked to the family about it. It is a big house that is owned by a woman and her two children. I had one of her kids in my manualidades (arts and crafts) class. But i don't really know anything about the family.
Now for my own criteria for a house. I would want to live with a family that i feel comfortable with and that i can have a nice conversation with. That is one thing that I feel is lacking with my current family. I feel like really don't have to much n common. I obviously want a safe house and I want to be able to cook my own breakfast and dinner lunch is optional. I can find that Nica's don't always know how to feed a vegetarian. I think it would be better all around if i cooked. It would ensure that I got more then rice and beans to eat. Not my favorite dish. I would like a running shower but that is not a must. My room has to have ventilation to it. That is one thing about my room now is how stuffy and hot it can get during the day. They must accept Miles my cat. Other than that I and willing to explore my options.
Well I have started to teach more classes and i was told on a scale of 1-10 i teach at a 5. Which i think i pretty good from someone with very little teaching experience. It was on a topic that I wasn't quite sure how to teach the functioning of the different parts of the eyes and ears. Mind you it was not the structure but the function. I have taught other science and math courses that went relatively well. I do have to say that I am having a bit of fun but it is not my calling.
I finally got to right my bike to the school 6k away and the first day it broke. The bike store didn't tighten the screws on the peddles and gears. I ended up walking it half the way. I would prefer to walk to ride the bike but it is faster and the thing wasn't cheep. They got it fixed up at the school so I didn't have to walk it home too. LOL There is so much loose dusty roads almost like sand that makes it hard to peddle at times but not imposable as well as rocks I swear my rear end i raw from the bouncing. I am definitely gaining leg muscles.
Now comes the random happening paragraph. I am happy to say that I am not healthy with no stomach pains or gripe (colds) I just hope I didn't jinks myself. I might have also been proven wrong, the road blockers have not started again to my knowledge. I will give it another week but everything seems calm right now. It is sweltering here an average of 95 for the whole weeks and sometimes not electricity which means no fan! Miles has taken to seeing more of the day under my bed I think it's about a few degrees cooler there. I am realizing that my Spanish is defiantly improving. I can form sentences using the past and having them come out somewhat right. I also find my fluency is better and I can read a book aloud without sounding out every other word. I still find it hard at times to understand others but I seem to be getting the main idea of the topics. I feel like I'm begining to fit in a little bit now that I have some closer friends, I can't wait to get to know them better.
Don't think there is much more I have to see and I bit you all a fond farewell until next time. XOXO
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Language training
The month of observation is over i finally can start classes. I did my first class abonaras or composting. It went over well a bit hectic but well. I then got sick and I couldn't work. I have a chest cold because of all of the dust here. I was sick for a week then we had language training. The next week. I felt like i was letting people down. I mean it was my first weeks of teaching and I'm not there. But your can't help getting sick so life goes on.
Language taller was torture. It was four days of intensive training we started at 8 and went until 4 with a one hour lunch and two 15min breaks. We were so brain dead that i couldn't think in proper Spanish by the end. I was mixing up the words that sounded alike. I learned alot though which was the goal of the taller. We end over so many topics i wonder if i will remember it all. It was nice to see everyone and we got to hang out almost every night as a group. I was in a training town with four other volunteers and lived in what I would consider a Nica mansion. I lived with another volunteer who is also a veggie person. Which was nice when we had to explain that to the host mom. The house had tile floors and a real ceiling, a flush toilet, shower and screens in the windows. There was paper towels, an electric stove and washing machine. I had a real bed and the other volunteer and I shared a bathroom. The food was also amazing with freshish bread. We were defiantly spoiled for that week.
So to make matters worst i had a stomach thing the whole time i was there and I am not on a bunch a of meds to try and fight this thing. Not sure what is wrong but I'm sure everything will be fine so or so I hope.Because of this I had t stray overnight in Leon which was planing to do anyways but not i have it paid for which is always nice. There was a Jazz concert that night and I went to eat some American food. No mater how good the food can be there is always that craving for food that I know. It was a nice night and just the thing i needed after a stressful week.
I don't know if people have heard about the protesting and road blocks that are happening all over the northern part of Nicaragua AKA closeish to my area. This is the information that i have right now "The former Sandinista fighters who were demobilized in 1990, as well as a group of retired Nicaraguan soldiers from the 1990s, are demanding the government attend to their rights to a state pension, land and healthcare, among other basic services." (Ex-combatants: roadblocks will continue. The Nicaragua Dispatch. March 12 2012. http://www.nicaraguadispatch.com/breaking-news/ex-combatants-roadblocks-will-continue/2930) They stopped because the government is going to start talking but if they don't do anything they will start ups again. I don't think that this is over not by a long shot. There was a time there that all of the buses going north of Managua couldn't leave since all of the major highways were blocked. I was afraid that i wouldn't be able to get back to my site after training. I'm perfectly safe in my site so no worries there.
More lass next week and a few changes to life. Love you all
Language taller was torture. It was four days of intensive training we started at 8 and went until 4 with a one hour lunch and two 15min breaks. We were so brain dead that i couldn't think in proper Spanish by the end. I was mixing up the words that sounded alike. I learned alot though which was the goal of the taller. We end over so many topics i wonder if i will remember it all. It was nice to see everyone and we got to hang out almost every night as a group. I was in a training town with four other volunteers and lived in what I would consider a Nica mansion. I lived with another volunteer who is also a veggie person. Which was nice when we had to explain that to the host mom. The house had tile floors and a real ceiling, a flush toilet, shower and screens in the windows. There was paper towels, an electric stove and washing machine. I had a real bed and the other volunteer and I shared a bathroom. The food was also amazing with freshish bread. We were defiantly spoiled for that week.
So to make matters worst i had a stomach thing the whole time i was there and I am not on a bunch a of meds to try and fight this thing. Not sure what is wrong but I'm sure everything will be fine so or so I hope.Because of this I had t stray overnight in Leon which was planing to do anyways but not i have it paid for which is always nice. There was a Jazz concert that night and I went to eat some American food. No mater how good the food can be there is always that craving for food that I know. It was a nice night and just the thing i needed after a stressful week.
I don't know if people have heard about the protesting and road blocks that are happening all over the northern part of Nicaragua AKA closeish to my area. This is the information that i have right now "The former Sandinista fighters who were demobilized in 1990, as well as a group of retired Nicaraguan soldiers from the 1990s, are demanding the government attend to their rights to a state pension, land and healthcare, among other basic services." (Ex-combatants: roadblocks will continue. The Nicaragua Dispatch. March 12 2012. http://www.nicaraguadispatch.com/breaking-news/ex-combatants-roadblocks-will-continue/2930) They stopped because the government is going to start talking but if they don't do anything they will start ups again. I don't think that this is over not by a long shot. There was a time there that all of the buses going north of Managua couldn't leave since all of the major highways were blocked. I was afraid that i wouldn't be able to get back to my site after training. I'm perfectly safe in my site so no worries there.
More lass next week and a few changes to life. Love you all
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
An eye opener
I know I just updated but something happened today that felt was news worthy. I just hope that I am not crossing any rules with this entry. If any Nicaraguan are reading this please don't be offended by my commentary. I do not mean to speak down about the culture or the people of Nicaragua. I love the people that I meet here.
Now on to the situation. I was talking with my teacher today about dating they seem to find it fascinating that I am single and that I don't choose to date while I am here. I can't help but think that they are secretly going to start looking for a man for me. LOL. Anyways she asked about what type of guys that I like what characteristics I looked for in a guy. I explained to her one of the things was that I didn't care what the race of there person was. She then asked if I would go with and African I said of course. She acted very shocked and began to say she would never go with a black. I said that my dad was African and she seemed a bit flustered saying that no all of them were bad.
I knew over my stay here that there was racism I guess that I didn't realized how deep it went. This opened my eyes to the harsh reality of it all. There have been other situations but I found that I brushed them off. I guess this conversation shit closer to home then I thought. It got me wondering what they think of me. I have no problem with being in the sun and getting tan. They think it is a bad thing. I do not hide from them that I am black and some times I can't help but thing that they disapprove of me is some small way. They are all very accepting and eager to talk with me so I have been given no inclination of this idea but one does wonder.
Now on to the situation. I was talking with my teacher today about dating they seem to find it fascinating that I am single and that I don't choose to date while I am here. I can't help but think that they are secretly going to start looking for a man for me. LOL. Anyways she asked about what type of guys that I like what characteristics I looked for in a guy. I explained to her one of the things was that I didn't care what the race of there person was. She then asked if I would go with and African I said of course. She acted very shocked and began to say she would never go with a black. I said that my dad was African and she seemed a bit flustered saying that no all of them were bad.
I knew over my stay here that there was racism I guess that I didn't realized how deep it went. This opened my eyes to the harsh reality of it all. There have been other situations but I found that I brushed them off. I guess this conversation shit closer to home then I thought. It got me wondering what they think of me. I have no problem with being in the sun and getting tan. They think it is a bad thing. I do not hide from them that I am black and some times I can't help but thing that they disapprove of me is some small way. They are all very accepting and eager to talk with me so I have been given no inclination of this idea but one does wonder.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
A down moment
One week of school has past. Most of my teacher are really good and don't seem to need my help. I still have to pick which three i want to work with. I love my second school. The kids are really good and seem to want me there. They taught me some children games and have been begging me to play with them every break. The teacher is also really nice and she could use some help as well. Imagine teaching 1-6 alone it is pretty busy in that one room class.
I find that i am feeling as though i am pleasing everyone else but me. I am doing alot of things in the school but my passion is not teaching. I want to do more environmental things I have to find a way to fit more of that in. The problem is that i don't know what the problems are. I have asked my host mother and she gave me a list of some things. I think i will use this and do a survey to give to the town. Then I can contact Peace Corps for more help on how to improve this. I want to plant trees on the road side. I just don't have to skills right now to implement things. It is frustrating and I'm not really loving it like i should. I find that Africa was a better fit for me skill wise. It's not that i don't' like it per-say but it's not was i was expecting. I know i have to make my service the way i want to and i will just have to put the effort in to do what i want to do. I knew that things will change i just wish it would change faster.
Love you all miss you and even thought this blog is negative i do like it here and do have fun. I don't want anyone to worry. All my love.
I find that i am feeling as though i am pleasing everyone else but me. I am doing alot of things in the school but my passion is not teaching. I want to do more environmental things I have to find a way to fit more of that in. The problem is that i don't know what the problems are. I have asked my host mother and she gave me a list of some things. I think i will use this and do a survey to give to the town. Then I can contact Peace Corps for more help on how to improve this. I want to plant trees on the road side. I just don't have to skills right now to implement things. It is frustrating and I'm not really loving it like i should. I find that Africa was a better fit for me skill wise. It's not that i don't' like it per-say but it's not was i was expecting. I know i have to make my service the way i want to and i will just have to put the effort in to do what i want to do. I knew that things will change i just wish it would change faster.
Love you all miss you and even thought this blog is negative i do like it here and do have fun. I don't want anyone to worry. All my love.
Monday, February 13, 2012
1st day of school
Wow two posts in one month I never thought i would be abe to do that. So lets see I got a kitty. His name is Miles. He is just over a month old or so i think I´m not positive since the other volunteer wasn´t sure how old he was. He is a gray cat with black stripes. He is very mischivous and a bit necio or doesn´t behave. He eats a lot not sure of that is normal or not oh well if he is hungary i will let him eat. He is very adourable and I love him dearly even if he can drive my crazy at times. He is also cuddlely when he wants to be. He will climb up my leg which isn´t all that comfortable and then eather say there for a few seconds and jump off to do it again 5 min later. Or mead his claws into me as i pet him. He will then roal over and begging to bat at my hand playing. Sometimes he even sleeps on me!
Today was the first day of school which was nothing like the USA. We had a party with 6 pinatas music dancing and fun. Then the kids went back to class to copy down their scedule for the year. I will be working with four teachers in this school 3-4th grades. I will be going to my second school two days of the week and working in a school that is 1-6th grade this should be intresting. I´m a bit nervious since i have little to no teaching experiance but the teacher is great and will help me as much as she can. I am not very excited to start real classes which hopefully will be tomorrow unless it´s another party. One of my teachers won´t be there which is fine with me sinve I have her class friday.
TEPCI was horrable so very boring they only talked about what to teach the next two months and had this discussion that I didn´t understand. Pat another volunteer and I left early to do errens. I found out that the woman at the Ciaro story or the store where I bought my modem gave me the wrong one. So I had to return again with all fo my information to get the right one. I am trying to do that now but it is closed i will have to try again tomorrow.
Today was the first day of school which was nothing like the USA. We had a party with 6 pinatas music dancing and fun. Then the kids went back to class to copy down their scedule for the year. I will be working with four teachers in this school 3-4th grades. I will be going to my second school two days of the week and working in a school that is 1-6th grade this should be intresting. I´m a bit nervious since i have little to no teaching experiance but the teacher is great and will help me as much as she can. I am not very excited to start real classes which hopefully will be tomorrow unless it´s another party. One of my teachers won´t be there which is fine with me sinve I have her class friday.
TEPCI was horrable so very boring they only talked about what to teach the next two months and had this discussion that I didn´t understand. Pat another volunteer and I left early to do errens. I found out that the woman at the Ciaro story or the store where I bought my modem gave me the wrong one. So I had to return again with all fo my information to get the right one. I am trying to do that now but it is closed i will have to try again tomorrow.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Hi
Well it's been a while by internet isn't working I have to get it checked out. Alot has happened since the last time I wrote. Lets see my youth group is over with we had a desperation or a going out party. It was a blast I made a spider wed for them which they loved. We had food and they played twister and did a singing competition. The summer tutoring is OVER!!!! I am so happy about that it was horrible. I hope that real classes aren't so bad.
Now we are starting the teachers weeks they went over the rules and doing enrollment for the up coming year. They will be doing this for two weeks hopefully people will sign up. There hasn't been a big turn our so far. I also finally visited the second school it's a 6k walk. I will need to buy a bike to get there. All of my classes are in the morning which will be nice I get to do activities in the after noon. The town is very poor and the house are just boards put together. The people are nice though and the teacher is great. I think i will really enjoy my time there.
My uncle, friend, neighbor died this week. It has been a sad hectic week. The house was full of people from all over the world. It was a bit overwhelming but a unique experience. I didn't get to go to the funeral because no one told me. They took my camera so at least i have photos to see even if i wasn't there. I did get to see the wake and viewing though. It was a sad but amazing cultural experience. Very similar to a USA viewing.
Now we are starting the teachers weeks they went over the rules and doing enrollment for the up coming year. They will be doing this for two weeks hopefully people will sign up. There hasn't been a big turn our so far. I also finally visited the second school it's a 6k walk. I will need to buy a bike to get there. All of my classes are in the morning which will be nice I get to do activities in the after noon. The town is very poor and the house are just boards put together. The people are nice though and the teacher is great. I think i will really enjoy my time there.
My uncle, friend, neighbor died this week. It has been a sad hectic week. The house was full of people from all over the world. It was a bit overwhelming but a unique experience. I didn't get to go to the funeral because no one told me. They took my camera so at least i have photos to see even if i wasn't there. I did get to see the wake and viewing though. It was a sad but amazing cultural experience. Very similar to a USA viewing.
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